Take It or Leave It

Before I give you my Banos update, I thought I'd share this little story with you about a lesson I learnt on a bus ride recently....

I look at my watch as I'm approaching the bus station, feeling a sense of relief as I realize I have ten minutes up my sleeve to throw my gear on and find myself a seat. They don't seem to have a limit on the bus capacity here, so I wanted to make sure I had a good seat for the five hour bus ride. As I step on the bus, I notice that once again, it's filled with local people, and once again my blond hair and pail skin seems to instill a sense of curiosity into everyone, as they look at me, wondering where this strange person mite be from, and why he would have decided to enter into this crazy eccentric world, which they so desperately want to get away from. I find a seat near the front, and put my guitar above the seat on the opposite side so I can keep an eye on it throughout the trip, then I settle into a seat, happy that I'd found myself a window.

As I relax into my seat, I pass over the memories of my recent adventure, remembering the friends I'd left behind, and the culture that I'd temporarily become a part of, and the things I'd come to learn. But at the same time I notice the subtle adrenaline running through my body, the feeling of once again going head on into the infinite world of the unknown. I've come to know this feeling well now, and like every other time, I trust that it'll lead me to the next step in a way in which I couldn't possibly predict.

As the time approaches the bus to leave, it starts to get very full. A lady sits next to me, showing her interest in my company by sticking an ear phone in each of her ears, and playing with her cell phone. It didn't bother me to much; I'd had enough broken Spanish conversations throughout the recent weeks, so I was content with spending the time with myself. The seats had now filled up and the standing isle was also starting to fill up.

As I sit there, feeling relieved that I came early, I notice a man squeezing his way through the standing passengers. As he approaches my seat, he stops to catch his breath, and as he stands there wiping the sweet from his forehead, he checks the seat number, as he searches his pocket for his ticket.

I'm thinking this is a wee bit strange, but I have my ticket on me so I'm not to worried, and then he looks at me and says, "do you have a ticket?" I nod my head, and as I put my hand into my pocket he replies, "What number?" I'm thinking that this is a bit weird that he's asking this, no one here seems to be too concerned about seat numbers, especially because there are probably about thirty extra people in the isle. I look at my ticket, and tell him that it says seat number four. He then gives me this look. I've seen this look many times now, as you watch their mind ticking over, you can literally read their thoughts saying, "hmmm...now how can I make the most of this situation, there's a gringo here, and he speaks very little Spanish.... I think I'm guna win this one, the balls in my court."

He then waves his ticket at me and says, "You are sitting in my seat, you need to move." I understood every word he said, but I really couldn’t be bothered getting into an argument, so I just played the "ignorant gringo card," and turn my head away as if he didn't say anything of any significance to me. He then repeats it, but this time the lady sitting next to me gets in on it to assist his case. Now they are both looking at me saying, "This isn't your seat number, you have to go a find your own seat." I ask where my seat was and they point in the general direction of the front of the bus. I can't actually see anything though because the walking isle is completely packed with people.

It's now at the point where I have to decide whether I want to argue my case, or just give in and go find my seat number. I'm thinking that it's probably going to take a lot more energy to try and stay here, so I grab my bag, and in a rage of frustration, I push my way to the front of the bus to find my seat, thinking to myself, "well if one of them can do it to me, then I'll fuckin do it back to them!" As I push past everyone, and stand on every second persons toe, I finally get to my seat number, ready to dish out a dose of authority.

As I find my number, I look down, only to find an old lady sitting there, with a few bags of groceries sitting at her feet. I show her my ticket and say "excuse me madam, but this is my seat." She looks at the lady next to her, and then reluctantly stands up. As she starts standing I suddenly feel this wave of guilt rush over me, I'd just made this old lady stand up, just because I so selfishly would like to have a seat. I can feel the eyes of the whole bus burning a hole in my back, and I'm now faced with the decision of giving up my seat for the sake of feeling guilty, or taking what is rightfully mine. As the lady picks up her bags I look at her, and buckling under my conscience I say, "Its ok, you can stay sitting there."

I'm now forced to find something to hold onto, and a safe place to put my gear where I can keep my eye on it, as I accept the fact that I’m now going to be standing for an indefinite amount of time. At first I stand, feeling like a victim, occasionally glancing at the guy who scammed me, trying to make him feel uncomfortable by giving him my "you fucked with the wrong guy" sorta look. But after a short while, I remember that one of the reasons I came to this place, was to feel this exact experience.

I remember that when I was back at home, I was craving for the opportunity to be faced with these choices, to have a blank canvas in every moment in which to choose how I want to express myself, and to choose how I want to see people through different experiences. Upon realizing this, my perspective completely changes. I'm now standing here, sandwiched against one of the seats, but now I'm just laughing at this crazy experience. I look back at what just happened, and see it as nothing more than yet another reflection that this culture was able to reveal to me. I turn to a local man next to me and have a brief conversation, and then continue standing, as the bus continues to keep picking more people up.

After about half an hour, people finally started getting off the bus, and after one stop, a lady a few seats over gets up for the next stop. As the seat becomes available, the man standing next to it looks at me and says, "You can sit here." I don't know whether he feels sorry for me from earlier, or whether he’s genuinely just doing it out of kindness, but never the less, I thank him, and after grabbing my gear again, I’m back into a seat, sitting opposite the same guy that kicked me off mine. I give him another glance, but this time I give him my, "haha nice one, you got me" kind of look, similar to the look you give your mate when he plays a practical joke on you, knowing that your better off from it, because that’s just one more thing to be aware of next time.